Leg Surgery

Posted on October 14, 2011 at 1:58 pm by mcmorelli Comments Off

I had this awesome little surgery yesterday to remove this hideous red lump from my right leg. It was a hell of a day. The reason I had it removed was the doctors were worried about it due to it getting bigger over the last year. It was sent off to pathology after it was removed.

So I get over to the dermatologist’s office early (its in walking distance from my condo really) and sign in. The woman looks at my name and asks me with this dumbfounded look “What are you here for today?” I told her I was having surgery to have a lump removed from my leg. She then proceeded to tell me she didn’t have anything at all in their system for me. Then she pulled their scheduling book (because they just switched to a computer system THIS YEAR) and said she couldn’t see anything written for me in there.

I pretty much look at her with my “I will kill you if you don’t fix this” stare and told her she herself scheduled me when I was checking out last time I was in there and I wouldn’t have the date in my calendar OR the notes to not take any blood thinners for two weeks prior. So she went and pulled my file and said that it was never marked down in there. WTF?! Luckily the head nurse saw what was going on and grabbed my file and said I’ll just take this and see if the doctor will do the surgery anyway. She also gave miss idiot a “I hate you” glare. It was awesome.

So she comes back out and say’s that the doctor will fit me in and to hurry up and finish checking me in. So the woman took my ID and insurance cards and got my chart together. She handed my stuff back and told me to sit and it shouldn’t be too long. An hour later I’m still sitting there (but I’m not too angry about that). I am however insanely angry when the woman doing the check ins was talking about me to the other nurse that works up front. Guess she thought shutting the window and “whispering” would have worked. Except I was sitting right across from the window and I could see her looking at me. Also, the other woman knows my family so she just rolled her eyes and walked away.

Anyways, the little surgery went fine, until the end when I apparently was going into shock or something. It happened when I had the surgery on my toes too. They called it something that I didn’t quite catch and grabbed me some lemonade. Its pretty embarrassing and I have no idea why it happens. The nurse wrapped my leg up and told me I have to leave it like this for the next 48 hours and I have to keep it dry. Oh, yea, that’ll be easy. I’m a greasy Italian. Sometimes I shower three times in a day.

This morning comes around and guess what, its shower time! I have no tape to try the traditional trash bag thing so I try another route: Cling Wrap! It actually worked pretty good even though I kept my leg on the other side of the curtain for the majority of the shower. I wish someone could have recorded me wrapping my leg in that stuff. It probably looked ridiculous. Maybe I can get Jeff to do that tonight before I get to take all the wrapping stuff off.

Last night I guess I still didn’t have much feeling back in the area but my leg started getting really itchy. This morning however the wrapping was a little messed up and my leg was hurting a lot. In fact it’s still hurting a lot. They told me to only take extra strength Tylenol for the pain. Yea, that shit isn’t working. I’ve never had stitches before so I had no idea what it would be like after.

My calf is so sore and tight and for some reason I thought it would be ok to come to work today. Yea that was a big mistake. I’ve been having to get up and walk all over the place. Its making the pain and soreness so much worse.

I’m sure I’ll have more to add about this later. Pics when I take the wrappings off and all that kind of stuff. Maybe I’ll even get Jeff to record me while I wrap my leg up with cling wrap. Just for you guys.